MERRY CHRISTMAS

At this time of the year, with pain in my heart and tears in my eyes at the loss of my best friend and soul companion, I reach out across the miles to greet all my blog readers. I promise to return in the new year with a vigor and the passion I once had. Now I wish to thank you for your support. MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!! GOD BLESS AND KEEP YOU ALL WELL.

ABEL MARTIN LOPEZ RODRIGUEZ

NOV 14, 1955 - OCT 18, 2009

REST IN PEACE, BABY. ALL MY LOVE NOW AND ALWAYS.

“No necesitas pedir permiso para ser feliz, está autorizado pero nunca garantizado” (Abel Desestress)

IN MEMORY OF ABEL MARTIN LOPEZ RODRIGUEZ

NOVEMBER 14, 1955 -- OCTOBER 18, 2009

LED ASTRAY AGAIN

There must be more, I hear them say,
There must be some, at least for today.
But as the day goes by,
We suddenly realize,
There is none, so come what may.

The change we looked for is not in sight.
The change they promised is not here tonight.
And once again we were led astray,
Once again, for yet another day.

Politics is just open promises and sad realities. (Brenda A. Ysaguirre)

A RAINY DAY THOUGHT

Yesterday the sky was gray,
It was just a very sad old day.
The rain came down in little showers,
Tomorrow I bet there will be little flowers.

I love the rain because then all is cool,
Not like the hot days that send us to the pool.
But a storm is in the Gulf they say on the news,
Claudine is number three, don´t blow a fuse!

Its that time of the year once again,
When storms bring us a lot of rain.
And while the plants are happy for the bath,
There is no tell what can be the storm´s wrath.

So keep on eye on the weather outside,
Don´t sit indoors and just play hide.
Be prepared for what comes and you will see,
It always better to be ready for what can be.

Brenda Ysaguirre
Copyright 2009 Brenda Ysaguirre

REVERSING THE NOW

I live the NOW,
But I want the past.
I react to the NOW,
But this cannot last.

I see the NOW,
Yet I cannot accept,
I move in the NOW,
But each day is filled with regret.

I hear you NOW,
But I remember the past,
I accept the NOW,
But my joy is in the past.

I hate the NOW,
Because you´re gone away,
I refuse the NOW,
Because I want you back today.

Brenda A. Ysaguirre
Copyright 2009 Brenda A. Ysaguirre

YOU BREAK MY HEART

Everytime we meet now you break my heart,
Everytime I leave now it tears me apart,
Everytime I spend with you is filled with pain,
Everytime now I wonder will I be happy ever again?

We both know what is happening here,
We both know why nothing is clear.
We both know who is to blame,
We both know nothing will ever be the same.

And yet we cannot turn and walk away,
And yet I cannot say what i need to say.
And yet you fight that demon in you,
And yet you know that my love is true.

But until you accept this love will never die,
Until you can accept there was no lie,
Until you let things return to what they were,
Until you realize what we are fighting for,

There will be words that shouldn´t be said,
There will be pain that could turn my head.
There will be nothing I can do to save you,
There will be sadness until you change the things you do.

WHERE ARE YOU?

Is it a figment of the imagination?

Is it the mind playing on realization?

Is it the fact that you are getting old?

Is this the reason you are suddenly cold?

Where is that person everyone knew?

Where is that person who was so true?

Where is that person who was filled with joy?

Where is that person who acted like a boy?

What happened to change all that?

What happened or what did not?

What happened to make you turn away,

What happened to all the joy that use to fill the day?

It came suddenly into the night,

It came suddenly without a fight,

It came suddenly and I did not see,

It came suddenly and took you away from me!

Brenda A. Ysaguirre

Copyright 2009 Brenda A. Ysaguirre

SOMETHING´S WRONG

When I awoke I knew something was wrong,
When I awoke there was no song.
When I awoke I felt a pain,
When I awoke I realized it was happening again.

These feelings that I feel,
Will they ever heal?
Or am I doomed to be in pain,
Can´t I enjoy laughter once again?

I remember all those yesterdays,
I remember living in a daze.
I remember how you looked at me,
I remember, and I want them to be.

But every now and then the earth shifts,
And with it my aching heart it lifts.
But I dream of everything being like before,
And I dream of having so much more.

Brenda A. Ysaguirre
Copyright 2009 Brenda A. Ysaguirre

FORGIVE ME

Forgive me for being human,
Forgive me for being a woman.
Forgive me for showing my pain,
Forgive me, because it will happen again.

Forgive me, because you love me,
Forgive me, because together we should be.
Forgive me, because you are empty without me,
Forgive me, because this is love can´t you see?

Forgive me, because you are wrong,
Forgive me, because together we are strong.
Forgive me, because you know that this is insane,
Forgive me, and let us be happy once again.

Forgive me, because you miss me by your side,
Forgive me, because the pain we cannot hide.
Forgive me, because this love is true,
Forgive me, because I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU!!

Brenda A. Ysaguirre
Copyright 2009 Brenda Ysaguirre

WHY IS IT ONLY SOMETIMES?

Sometimes you are so kind,

Sometimes all is fine.

Sometimes I am your queen,

Sometimes your heart just gleams.



Then you turn around and change,

Then you become so out of range.

Then I feel the hurt inside,

Then I feel I´m on a roller coaster ride.



Why is it hard for you submit?

Why is it so difficult for you to fit?

Why must you always turn away?

Why can´t I see the real you every day?



Brenda A. Ysaguirre

Copyright 2009 Brenda A. Ysaguirre

GO WITH TIME

Time passes by,
Things happen now and then.
Sometimes we sigh,
Sometimes we say, "Never again."

If we only knew,
What happens before it did,
Our mistakes would be few,
Because on them we´d put a lid.

But life is unknown,
Life can be a game.
Life is time that has flown,
Life is things happening again and again.

So float with the time,
Float with the wind.
Float as you climb.
Float to places you´ve never been.


Brenda A. Ysaguirre
Copyright 2009 Brenda A. Ysaguirre

WHAT IS A FRIEND?

A friend is someone whose mom will wake you up at 2am to say you´re not home yet.
A friend is someone who stays with you through a hurricane or 2 or 5 with all her family.
A friend is someone you take around shopping in a border city .
A friend is someone you give some fish to so she can fry them and enjoy after a hurricane!!
A friend is someone you can email during a storm or talk to over the phone system on your computer to keep her updated on the storm.
A friend is someone who when she is away you take her mom and grandma into your house during a hurricane because your house is safer.

What is a friend?

Heck, what did I forget?

Ah, a friend is someone who stabs you in the back and still looks you in the eyes and says "I am your friend"
But one day she wakes up and realizes she can´t look at you anymore and she is scared to be in the same room as you because she knows how you feel.

You see, a friend is also your worst enemy because she knows you better than anyone and she knows what will hurt you most.

So what do we do then?

DON´T HAVE ANY FRIEND THAT CAN GET THAT CLOSE AGAIN!

Life is too short but it also is a waiting period.

Yes, I AM WAITING. I AM WAITING. AND SO THE WAITING BEGINS............

Brenda A. Ysaguirre

My Four-Leaf Clover Field

(Written for my Students back in 2003)

"You should be in Hollywood,"

My students always say to me.

"Then who would teach you?

That´s my job don´t you see?"

They laugh whenever this I say,

And I thank God everyday,

For my first choice it was not,

But fulfillment I have got.

Whether it is reading a novel,

Or over grammar we shuffle,

Their pondering faces make me care,

I´m glad I have something to share.

So everyday we meet at school,

And we both learn from the Golden Rule.

Strangely after long weekends apart,

There is a space missing in my heart.

The first thing I hear when their class I enter,

Is always the cheery: "We missed you, Miss Brenda!"

"I missed you too. Thank goodness the weekend is over!"

The are definately my field with four-leaf clovers.

Brenda A. Ysaguirre

Copyright 2009 Brenda Aurora Ysaguirre

YOU ARE NOBODY

You are Nobody,
You are NOTHING.
You can never be,
You have yet to see,
You will regret,
You haven´t learn yet,
YOU ARE NOBODY,

AND I AM FREE!!

Man tries to make the world his but loses himself in hating and hurting others on the path to greed and power.
Brenda Aurora Verna Ysaguirre Gill

Because I SAID NO MORE

You have lost your joy,
Because I SAID NO MORE.
You have lost your toy,
Because I SAID NO MORE.

Now you will start to pine away,
Because I SAID NO MORE.
Now you will feel real pain,
Because I SAID NO MORE.

Remember the song,
Because I SAID NO MORE.
We will no longer get along,
Because I SAID NO MORE.

And what goes around,
Because I SAID NO MORE,
Will now come around,
Because I SAID NO MORE.

Prepare for your share,
Because I SAID NO MORE,
Prepare to live in fear,
Because I SAID NO MORE.

And just one more thing,
Because I SAID NO MORE,
YOU HAVE LOST AND I HAVE GAINED,
BECAUSE I SAID NO MORE.

CAN´T TOUCH THIS!!!!!!
BECAUSE THERE IS NO MORE!!!

Brenda A. Ysaguirre
Copyright 2009 Brenda A. Ysaguirre

WE WERE FRIENDS

We were once great friends,
We were once colleagues,
But today all that ends,
Today all that will cease.

You walk with death,
You walk with hate,
You walk and yet,
You are too late.

Your time will come,
Your time is near,
You used the rule of thumb,
So now go live in fear.

For I walk with hate,
For I walk with joy,
Now you are too late,
You´ve lost your toy.

Now watch the dawn,
Of my new day appear,
For me you can nolonger yearn,
For me you should now fear.

I will never understand,
How you could take it into your hand,
After all I have done for you,
But then again madness is the tool.

Many know you for what you do,
Many know you can not be true.
Many hate you everyday,
Many, many in every way.

Brenda A. Ysaguirre
Copyright 2009 Brenda A. Ysaguirre

I Could Not

I could not say goodbye,
I could not live a lie.
I could not turn back time,
I could not be a mime.

I am a renegade,
I am a cute rebel.
I am fighting for each of you,
So make me proud of what you do.

Be happy that we are friends,
For I´ll love you to the end.
And whenever you need someone to talk too,
I`ll be there for you.

Brenda A. Ysaguirre
Copyright 2009 Brenda A. Ysaguirre

JUST REMEMBER ( A poem for my students)

When you´re sad and lonely,
When you´re feeling blue,
Just remember one thing,
I´ll be thinking of you.

When friends seem to diasappear,
When they seem so few,
Just remember one thing,
I´ll be there for you.

When all is joyfulness,
When all is calm and free,
Just remember one thing,
I your friend will be.

For friends will come,
And friends will go ,
Each and everyday.
So just remember one thing,
I am here to stay.

Brenda A. Ysaguirre
Copyright 2009 Brenda A. Ysaguirre

AS THE HATRED GROWS

I once looked at you,
And saw a friend.
Now I look at you,
And I see the end.

How time goes by,
How hatred grows.
How focused you are,
The end no one knows.

Except me of course,
Because I am the actress,
And while you try to be stage director,
I get to do my best.


Brenda A. Ysaguirre
Copyright 2009 Brenda A. Ysaguirre

HAPPY EASTER, EVERYONE

To all my wonderful reader. Hope this season brings you closer to the reason. He is risen and with Him we are reborn to a wonderful life.

Much love always,
Brenda

STOP RUNNING

How sad it is
That you run and hide,
From the wonderful person
that is inside.

You need your space,
I can't win this race.
So I turn and walk away.

How lonely is the night,
How sad with you out of sight.
I have nothing to say.

The hurt I feel today,
Will tomorrow go away,
Because I'll be with you.

But you need to give it up,
You already have a full cup.
And there is nothing I can do.

She is no longer yours,
The life she leads is hers.
So shut that door and turn away.

Because our future is at stake,
With every move that you make.
Come what will and come what may.

So, baby, can't you see,
All the pain that you are causing me,
Is unnecessary and make believe.

I won't go away,
I'll be with you everyday,
Because our love is real.

Brenda A. Ysaguirre
Copyright 2009 Brenda A. Ysaguirre

Slowly, Slowly Our Love Grows

Slowly, slowly you move my way,
Slowly, slowly in the cold, cold day.
There is a time, here is a place,
Some call it passion, some call it a race.

The light is flashing, the sign shows green,
Because we´re happy it´s not a dream.
And slowly, slowly I turn your way,
Slowly, slowly there is something to say.

I look at you and you look at me,
This is what real love was meant to be.
So slowly, slowly the love grows,
Slowly, slowly from your heart it overflows.

I told you it could,
I knew that it would,
And slowly, slowly towards me you lean,
Slowly, slowly you´ve made me your queen.

Brenda A. Ysaguirre
Copyright 2009 Brenda A. Ysaguirre

WHO ARE YOU?

This morning started with a smile,
Then I travelled for more than a mile.
To see you and be by your side,
But you were angry and I wanted to hide.
How could you be so mean to us,
Is it something that do you must?
Don’t you understand how we feel?
Can’t you see that the pain is real?
Why must you always say those awful things?
Do you ever listen when your anger rings?
We love you but you don’t understand,
Why are you sometimes such a mean old man?
Yes your age is catching up on you,
And it will because of all the things you do.
This should be a time of peace and love,
But every now and again a black bird replaces the white dove.
Stop and think what it is you do.
Is this person really you?
You have everything a person could want and yet…
You are not satisfied with all you get.
I think reality has already begun to set in.
You are starting to think of what you did and where you’ve been.
Old ghosts are coming to haunt you,
For all the things that you use to do.
And I can’t save you from yourself this time.
I can’t help you as the mountain you begin to climb.
I can only hope that you will find peace one day,
And as usual there is only one thing that I can say:
I love you and I always will.
With you my arms I fill.
Let yourself go. Accept that which you try to escape,
Open your heart, come in through the gate.
It’s never too early and it will never be late.
Set your spirit free,
Come and be with me.
Together we can have it all,
Come to me, listen to my call.

HAPPY NEW YEAR, CAROLYN AND CIARRA

Dearest Carolyn,

This was the first year I was unable to be with you all for Christmas and New Years Day is here and I am filled with so much love and wishes for you. Daughter, you have been and will always be the joy of my life. You have been loved from the moment I found out I was carrying you in my womb. The love your father and I had for each other and the love we had when you arrived was special.

Over the years I became a single parent and that did not stop me from seeing you through high school, Sixth Form and University. Today you are thousands of miles away in Georgia, USA but you remain in my heart as the ray of sunshine that has brightened and guided me over the years.

I wish you all the best, Bibs. If Tia Brenda and Chichi were alive I know they would be so proud of all that you have achieved. I know that I am proud of you and have always been proud of you. Your successes are my successes. Keep on attaining that star that shines in your eyes and heart.

As we move into 2009, I look forward to seeing you and being with you. Keep on smiling and joking and being the best friend a mother could ask for. Baby girl, you are my greatest achievement. You are the best poem I have ever written, the best song I have ever sung and the best speech I have ever given. Reach for the unreachable and remember that you can be all you want to be.

Just say I CAN and you will be surprised at how much you will be able to do.

I love you and always will,

Mama

Ciarra, my little princess,

From the first moment I held you in my arms I knew you were grandma's girl. You are my joy and my peace. You are my blooming lily, my walking happiness. God Bless you my little angel. You are loved and you are cared for. Keep on making us proud of you. Keep on smiling and keep on learning.

Your journey of life has just begun. You have much to achieve and you will!
I love you and I miss you.

Grandma's special little star, know this: I will always be there for you. Reach out and take my hand.

All my love and kisses,

Grandma Brenda

HAPPY NEW YEAR, EVERYONE!!

There are 0.8 days until 2009!

"Happy New Year!" That greeting will be said and heard for at least the first couple of weeks as a new year gets under way. But the day celebrated as New Year's Day in modern America was not always January 1.

ANCIENT NEW YEARS

The celebration of the new year is the oldest of all holidays. It was first observed in ancient Babylon about 4000 years ago. In the years around 2000 BC, the Babylonian New Year began with the first New Moon (actually the first visible cresent) after the Vernal Equinox (first day of spring).
The beginning of spring is a logical time to start a new year. After all, it is the season of rebirth, of planting new crops, and of blossoming. January 1, on the other hand, has no astronomical nor agricultural significance. It is purely arbitrary.
The Babylonian new year celebration lasted for eleven days. Each day had its own particular mode of celebration, but it is safe to say that modern New Year's Eve festivities pale in comparison.
The Romans continued to observe the new year in late March, but their calendar was continually tampered with by various emperors so that the calendar soon became out of synchronization with the sun.
In order to set the calendar right, the Roman senate, in 153 BC, declared January 1 to be the beginning of the new year. But tampering continued until Julius Caesar, in 46 BC, established what has come to be known as the Julian Calendar. It again established January 1 as the new year. But in order to synchronize the calendar with the sun, Caesar had to let the previous year drag on for 445 days.

THE CHURCH'S VIEW OF NEW YEAR CELEBRATIONS

Although in the first centuries AD the Romans continued celebrating the new year, the early Catholic Church condemned the festivities as paganism. But as Christianity became more widespread, the early church began having its own religious observances concurrently with many of the pagan celebrations, and New Year's Day was no different. New Years is still observed as the Feast of Christ's Circumcision by some denominations.

During the Middle Ages, the Church remained opposed to celebrating New Years. January 1 has been celebrated as a holiday by Western nations for only about the past 400 years.

NEW YEAR TRADITIONS

Other traditions of the season include the making of New Year's resolutions. That tradition also dates back to the early Babylonians. Popular modern resolutions might include the promise to lose weight or quit smoking. The early Babylonian's most popular resolution was to return borrowed farm equipment.
The Tournament of Roses Parade dates back to 1886. In that year, members of the Valley Hunt Club decorated their carriages with flowers. It celebrated the ripening of the orange crop in California.
Although the Rose Bowl football game was first played as a part of the Tournament of Roses in 1902, it was replaced by Roman chariot races the following year. In 1916, the football game returned as the sports centerpiece of the festival.
The tradition of using a baby to signify the new year was begun in Greece around 600 BC. It was their tradition at that time to celebrate their god of wine, Dionysus, by parading a baby in a basket, representing the annual rebirth of that god as the spirit of fertility. Early Egyptians also used a baby as a symbol of rebirth.
Although the early Christians denounced the practice as pagan, the popularity of the baby as a symbol of rebirth forced the Church to reevaluate its position. The Church finally allowed its members to celebrate the new year with a baby, which was to symbolize the birth of the baby Jesus.
The use of an image of a baby with a New Years banner as a symbolic representation of the new year was brought to early America by the Germans. They had used the effigy since the fourteenth century.

FOR LUCK IN THE NEW YEAR

Traditionally, it was thought that one could affect the luck they would have throughout the coming year by what they did or ate on the first day of the year. For that reason, it has become common for folks to celebrate the first few minutes of a brand new year in the company of family and friends. Parties often last into the middle of the night after the ringing in of a new year. It was once believed that the first visitor on New Year's Day would bring either good luck or bad luck the rest of the year. It was particularly lucky if that visitor happened to be a tall dark-haired man.
Traditional New Year foods are also thought to bring luck. Many cultures believe that anything in the shape of a ring is good luck, because it symbolizes "coming full circle," completing a year's cycle. For that reason, the Dutch believe that eating donuts on New Year's Day will bring good fortune.
Many parts of the U.S. celebrate the new year by consuming black-eyed peas. These legumes are typically accompanied by either hog jowls or ham. Black-eyed peas and other legumes have been considered good luck in many cultures. The hog, and thus its meat, is considered lucky because it symbolizes prosperity. Cabbage is another "good luck" vegetable that is consumed on New Year's Day by many. Cabbage leaves are also considered a sign of prosperity, being representative of paper currency. In some regions, rice is a lucky food that is eaten on New Year's Day.

AULD LANG SYNE

The song, "Auld Lang Syne," is sung at the stroke of midnight in almost every English-speaking country in the world to bring in the new year. At least partially written by Robert Burns in the 1700's, it was first published in 1796 after Burns' death. Early variations of the song were sung prior to 1700 and inspired Burns to produce the modern rendition. An old Scotch tune, "Auld Lang Syne" literally means "old long ago," or simply, "the good old days." The lyrics can be found here.